What is love?

Love is such a strong emotion and some may say that love is bread and water to our souls. Because of the different types of relationships their will different types of love. The different types of love are storage (affection between parents and children), philia (between friends), eros (between men and women) and agape (independent love). Even though in our textbook it doesn’t mention a Christ’s love but when we understand the love Christ has for us, we begin to develop a love that never knew that we for others. This is when develop a love we never could have imagined.

While washing the dishes, I asked my mom if her love for dad has changed in any way from the beginning of their marriage to present. Her response was, “When I married I thought I was in love. There is an attraction and you’re in married bliss but the love I have now for your father is much deeper than I could imagine.” Like my parents, I believe the ultimate test of a loving relationship is time. Love is based on shared experienced, not just attraction. I never did like the phrase “falling love” but to have a healthy relation a couple should “grow into love.”

The best way to illustrate love is through Shakespeare sonnet:

SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Gender Roles

When our family goes to a restaraunt my nieces and nephews behavoir is almost predictable. While waiting for our meal, my nephews are chopping their crayons with a knife and on the other hand my nieces are coloring so quietly and acting pretty civil. There were such distinct differences in their behavoir at the restaurant that it is pretty evident. Some might argue that men and women should be treated equally in every way and that there are no gender differences. There is no doubt that there are inborn gender differences. These gender differences are good because they fulfill our roles and creates purpose in life. When we understand our differences between genders we are more accepting and can balance our roles. It is fascinating to learn that women make more eye contact, have better memory detail and finer motor skills. On the other hand, men are more aggressive, direction oriented and stronger. As a family we shouldn’t have rigid roles and not work together but instead have our gender differences complement each other. A married couple will have the same goals for their family but they have different ways of accomplishing them. When we respect our gender differences we are becoming more unified as a family and following Heavenly Father's plan. One gender is not better than the other but we are equal in purpose.

I grew up on a cattle ranch and gender roles were clearly defined. It was expected for my brothers to work but not for my sister and I. I’ve asked my father many times why working on the farm was not expected of us. He told me that working on the farm was hard labor and he never really thought about it. Also I never had a desire to work on the farm either. I believe my father did a service by gently guiding our roles. When we know our gender roles there is more stability in our lives.

Week 3

This week during class our teacher possed the question "What is Family??" It really got me thinking how I define family. Some may define family as blood related. But some people may never connect with their blood relatives. Some may define their legal guardians as family. It may be hard for people that are adopted for them to define who their real parents are. To me family are the people that raised us, were a role model and showed true love to us. I feel immediate connection with my blood relative because we have a strong bond within my family. At times its hard to describe but a family has a sense of support, trust, and belonging. It's different with family because you would sacrifice and do anything for them than compared to friends. There are many different kinds of families but I support what the Proclamation to World states: the family is ordained of God and marriage between a man and a woman is essentail to his eternal plan. Marriage is the foundation to a family.

Week 2

This week we discussed how the family is a social system. In a family, each person plays a role and is interrelated and interdependent on each other. Within this system there are subsystems such as parental, spouse. Every family has their own rules and boundaries. There can be rigid boundaries to hardly any boundaries within a family. It is essential to create a homeostasis, in other words to seek a balance between stability and change in family relationships. The healthy family relationships are determinded by a family's system. Do the parents have a stronger relationship with their child than with their spouse? What is my role within my family and what kind of relationship do I have within the subsystems of my family (such as siblings, parents and spouse.) The most important subsystem is the marital subsystem because it is the foundation of a strong family system. By creating a family system it is easier to identify patterns and how can a family improve and create more cohesion.

While studying the family systems theory it reminded me of the circumplex model and how similar it is in how family might interact. I just thought I would share it.

Week 1

This week in class, we discussed the trends and statistics of marriage, divorce, birthrate, employed mothers, cohabitation, and house hold sizes. After we discussed the trends we cateorgized them into critical, significant or no big deal. It was interesting to see all of the trends correlate and have an impact on the family in some way.

We also discussed the "river anaolgy". A river is filled with debri that floats along with the current and eventually a log blocks the current by going sideways and doesn't move. This causes debris to build up behind it and everything stacks up. This causes a lot of strain for the log but down river the water becomes cleaner. This can be applied to familes when one family member decides change a family trend. They may have to deal with grief and pain from family members, but because of the change they are creating this person allows for there to be cleaner water for future generations.