Family Stress

            Every family experiences some form of stress to a certain degree. There are certain stressful situations that might bring a family closer together or cause them to be more distant. It depends how strong the family structure and how strong the ties are between family members. The key points in dealing with a stressor are perception and internal resources such as inner strengths. Stressful situations are good for families because it makes them more resilient, cope better with life situations and the family is more mature. There are many different kinds of stressors internal vs. external, normative vs. nonnormative, ambiguous vs. nonambiguous, volitional vs. nonvolitional, chronic vs. acute, and cumulative vs. isolated. I believe that external stressors (natural disaster, terrorism, and etc.) are more likely to bring a family closer together rather than internal internal (suicide, addictions, and etc.)  

The ABCX model illustrates how stress might impact families:

The most critical part is how a family might cope with a stressor. They might go through denial, experience avoidance, and scapegoating. The best for a family is to reframe or redefine the event. By changing their perspective on a situation, a family can see as the stressor as an obstacle that will ultimately lead to growth as they over come it.

Out of my family members, my Aunt has gone through the most stressful event and she has beautifully coped with the death of her husband. She tried to notice the spiritual things and have the mentality “what can I learn from this?” This good mother tried to find the blessing in the pain and discovered that you’ll eventually find it. When it comes right down to it, healing takes time. “No matter how bad things get, things will get better. Something will emerge. I made the decision that it won’t control my life.”

One of the best coping mechanisms is when I acknowledge the hand of god in my life and that this is not the end. I do everything in my power and sometimes it is just not enough. There is peace in my life when I trust in the lord and recognize that this event/stressor is part of his plan for me. From my experiences I learned that time heals there will be a time that I will find joy and laugh again. I keep in mind that this is not the end.